i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
