the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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