I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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