Non-Jews are for practice
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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