nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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