I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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