im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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