Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
