Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
