I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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