Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
