you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just had sex on a roof
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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