we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
