Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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