remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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