batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They should really pass out barf bags in church
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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