my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
