Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
