my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I had to cum in my sink.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
