oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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