Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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