Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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