You're so nebulous sometimes
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
