i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
