You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
