He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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