so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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