Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
