Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
