Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
