Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
