Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
