you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
