i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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