The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
