i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
