So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
