I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
