how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
