get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
