I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
