I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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