remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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