Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
