about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
