We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
