I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
