It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
