I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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