epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
