i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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