I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize