I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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