Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
