Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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