Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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