I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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