I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
