That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
