If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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