it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
