I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
