I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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