: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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