We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize