EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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