Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
