my vag is so smooth its legendary
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
false alarm, still single
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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