so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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