Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Randomize
