how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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