we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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